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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “disappearing” entered the mainstream. Initially, the concept that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a lover without a word seemed like the height of rudeness. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes pointless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Zoomers, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y elders could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

Below is a detailed guide to the terms this generation is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – For gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s response is engaged or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits affirm your choice to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane repulsions that instantly shut down any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {